in my shoes

So I joined the Peace Corps. Obviously there were a few expectations, like boarding a plane and moving to Albania for two years, but there were also a lot of unknowns. For those of you who know me, you know that I am not great with unknowns, nor am I particularly patient, and let me tell you that this process has been trying at times. So here I am to tell you what life looked like from the time I submitted my application to this moment right here, coming to you live from my Albanian training site.

There is no purpose to this picture being here, I just appreciate a good picture to word ratio. However, this is me on a hike in the mountains by my village.

Disclaimer** Though the following detail does not particularly matter whatsoever to this story, I think it is important that you know it in order to really know me. I submitted my application in the backseat of my car on the journey home from Mexico using the hotspot on my phone. This is important for a few reasons. First, once I found the perfect position, I was so excited that I literally could not wait to submit my application. Second, this is what I do. I get hooked, and I don't let go. Third, I trust my gut. Perhaps that's not always a good thing, e.g. allowing myself to be dropped off in a remote French village late at night with no idea of where I was supposed to be, but hey, the taxi's clock was running, so I probably saved a few bucks, right? However, I can tell you that I have never trusted my gut and wound up with a bad story to tell. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, in that moment of finding this perfect job, I remembered a conversation I had had exactly one year prior in the car ride home from Mexico when an incredibly wise human told me:

"I have always believed that I will know that a job is right for me when I am uniquely qualified for it." -Lori Blake

All signs led me here. Every experience in my life uniquely qualified me to be here in this moment pursuing an experience like no other in Albania. Everything they asked for, I had it; many of the qualifications were things I had experienced only by chance or by some outside force telling me to take an opportunity at one point or another in my life. It was as if my entire life had led to this one application. So I applied, I interviewed 2 weeks later, I got accepted 2 months later. Now, I'm here. Hey Lori Blake, that phrase that stuck with me, I quoted it in my cover letter on my application. Hey Lori Blake, that phrase I quoted in my cover letter on my application, the Albanian Peace Corps director quoted it in her opening speech to us within the first hour that my feet had hit Albanian ground.

Again, all about that ratio, but please enjoy this photo of a sheep on the road to school (training).

So I'll back up for a second to tell you a bit about those months in between my hotspot application and orientation. I submitted the application at the end of March, and I waited. Everyone told me that I would most likely be waiting several months before I heard anything, but two weeks later I received an invitation to interview. They asked of my experience with other cultures, my ability to connect with others, my skills in the area of public administration, and my ability to cope. I shut the computer and, as we all do, immediately thought of all the things I did wrong and all the things I could have expanded upon. Honestly, that's about all I did for the first few weeks of this next period of waiting, because the next thing I heard would either be an invitation or an invitation to try again.

Soon, I was on my way to Europe for backpacking adventures with one of the best humans I know, still anticipating a long wait for any sort of answer. Then in mid-June, after 17 cities, 5 countries, and countless crazy stories, I found myself lying in a top bunk in a hostel in Dublin, when the man sleeping below me let out a snore that seriously challenged the integrity of the bed frame. Groggily, I reached for my phone and noticed an email. I got in. 4 am in Dublin, and I find out I got my dream job. Honestly, how lame is that? Celebrating this moment in silence? Honestly though, I thank God that I got that email the day I was about to travel home. The email gave me 3 days to accept or decline, and even though I would never have passed up this incredible opportunity, part of me needed to be home when I said yes. So I got home, I accepted, I got my physical and lab tests done, I got fingerprinted, and I sent it all off to get medically and legally cleared for service.

Don't be surprised. This is just a picture that doesn't have anything to do with the words next to it, but instead is a fun picture of my crew (training group) hiking.

So fast forward 3 months (because literally nothing happened until mid-September), I was so anxious. The questions kept coming: what town will you be in, how much will you make, how do you get around, how do you get there, can you come back, etc. I didn't know, and the truth is, that many of these questions still don't have answers. So for me, being one who needs to feel in control, hates the unknown, and is incredibly impatient, I was absolutely terrified. Mid-September I finally got confirmation that I had been cleared for service, and I thought all the answers would come. Spoiler, they didn't.

In November and December we had a few Skype sessions with the Peace Corps team in Albania, I did a few more tasks to get my finances and such in order, and in December, I finally booked a flight. Honestly, that's it. That's all the information I left with when I got on the plane on January 19th. Perhaps I would have gotten more information if there hadn't been a government shutdown, but nonetheless, that's what I had. So I got on the plane, I landed in DC, and I went to staging. I walked into a room with 39 other volunteers to talk about what we were about to do. After meetings, we all braved the cold rain to get Chipotle one last time. The next morning, we were off. We landed in Albania and were met with the biggest welcome crew I have ever seen holding sacks of the best fruit I have ever had to tide us over on the bus ride into town.

This right here is my best friend Ledio, who was pissed that he was told to wait to eat my birthday cake. Side note: All food is better here.

When we got to Tirana, we started our 4 day orientation at a beautiful hotel. By day we were learning beginner Albanian, and by night we were exploring the incredible city. Then Friday came, and we all said goodbye. I met my darling host mother, and we traveled to my new, beautiful home. If I wasn't in love with Albania before, I fell hard and fast the second I stepped off that bus. My site mates and I spent the next two days exploring our village, hiking through the surrounding mountains, grabbing kafe at the lokal, and eating far too many mandarins. When I wasn't exploring with them, I was attempting to make friends with Ledio, my host mother's shy, 3 year old grandson. Spoiler alert, he loves me, and is literally waiting at the door every day for me to get home and play. It's the best.

So after a weekend of exploring, Pre-Service Training started, which means, 5 hours of language classes and 2 hours of culture, safety, medical, or technical training Monday through Saturday. Basically life right now is a sensory overload. Being someone who loves to talk, it is absolute frustration every day to be unable to communicate. I keep having to remind myself that it is completely unreasonable for me to expect to be able to do more than tell people small facts about me then resort to just pointing at objects and saying their names. However, in this situation, even knowing that is unreasonable doesn't always make me feel better. Essentially, my life now consists of me, going to training, being confused, coming home, playing whatever Ledio wants to play, eating crazy good food, then watching Harry Potter until I pass out for the night. To quote Ronald Weasley, "It's not much, but it's home."

First day of school (training) picture. Except I forgot for the first three days so this is actually the 4th day, but no one has to know.

Sorry this was crazy long and was probably the least exciting thing to read, but the purpose of this post is both to tell my friends and family what I'm doing, but also to give people an idea of what to expect if you're looking into this. I feel like it is necessary for people to know what the process really looks like. When I started this process, I didn't know what to expect, and I promise you, I looked. I kept wondering why everything seemed so vague, and I can tell you that, being here, I absolutely understand. Everything is up in the air, but it is also in perfect control. Like I said, there are still so many unknowns. I don't know where I will be in three months because the Peace Corps wants to know you, and really know you, in person, before putting you in a situation that you're going to have to live and work in day in and day out for two years. They don't want you to be unsuccessful or unhappy, and in order to make that happen, this period of unknown is necessary. What is crazy to me is that through it all, I thought my patience would be wearing so thin, but it's not, and I really honestly think that it's because there is a certain peace when you know you are right where you are supposed to be.

I was asked the other day what I miss most about the United States, and I can honestly say that I don't miss the food, the stores, the convenience. Those things are so overrated, and I'm sure I'll give some long-winded explanation as to why I believe that at a later date, but that's beside the point. What I miss most about the United States are the moments that I will never get back with my family. Though I talk to them every day, I'm sad that I wasn't there to see my brother qualify for state swimming, that I won't get to be there to help my sister pick out a prom dress, or take a pop to my mom on her first day at her big wig new job. However, one thing I have learned in the last few years is that moving forward isn't always easy, but it will always be worth the struggle. I also hope that I can set an example for my siblings to follow their heart, even when it isn't convenient.

These are a few of my favorite things.

So I'll leave you with one final thought about my experience, doing the smart thing isn't always the right answer. Sometimes, and I would argue most of the time, figuring out what rocks in life for you and running after it with all you've got is the way to go. It may not be the answer, but the journey will give you all the answers you need. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I am ready for it.