livin' la vida

I have this bracelet that I've been wearing for about 6 solid years now. It's one of those little rubber Lokai ones that are supposed to have water from the tip of Mt. Everest in one bead and mud from the Dead Sea in another. I am not sure how true that is, but just like time, it has meaning if we believe in it. Anyway, it is supposed to symbolize our highs and lows, but also the times in between, because life is cyclical, and yada yada yada. Now I say that, but this bracelet has been a physical reminder to carry around on my wrist that I can do this. It has been with me through some of the most trying times in my life, and it made enough of a difference in my life at those times that I actually gifted a matching bracelet to a dear friend during a trying time of her own, halfway across the country.

A very blurry picture of me as I stepped onto THE NEW BRIDGE to the Pirogoshi Tunnels. Much safer, albeit less exciting, than the old, wet, pipe, we used to have to walk on.

So I haven't written in a while, but allow me to catch you up. Since I last wrote, I celebrated an entire year in Albania, my water tank broke again, the mold on my ceilings has begun to creep its way on down the walls, I spent entirely too much on a heater I ordered online that took a month to arrive, heats literally nothing, and would cost nearly as much to return, I royally failed at making my fail-safe bread... twice, my boss left for Greece and didn't bother to tell me until I showed up to work and had to call, yet again, to see when I would be let into the office (turns out, the answer is Monday), and the cake I made today went up and out the top of the bundt pan to make some mini, and extra crispy, cakes on the bottom of my oven. I don't know exactly what it was, but something caused me to snap today. I got up and took matters into my own hands. I marched into the bashkia and asked to speak with a director for whom I have great respect, hoping that I could request to transfer myself into his office. What I found instead, was a dear friend of mine, who informed me that said director was not in the office. For a beat, I felt defeated and hopeless, but I looked up and thought, well, here I am. So on a whim, I proposed an idea to her, an idea I have been toying with for months. As I got deeper and deeper into this explanation, she looked at me and said she had been wanting to do something similar, perhaps we could work together.

I really should start taking more pictures of my life and less of the food I make. Anywho. I made BBQ bacon cheeseburgers on pretzel buns, and they were amazing.

I cannot fully put into words the feeling I had walking out of that building today. It's worth noting that I have been frustrated with the roadblocks that seem entirely unnecessary or that I feel have been purposefully thrust in my way since about week two in Corovoda, but today, it was just this mix of emotions that don't even make sense together. Mountain top, at peace, relief, excitement, inability to sit still... and the thing is, it was just an idea. I don't know if anything at all will come of it, but for the first time since I got here, I feel like I'm heading in the right direction.

So anyway, I was sitting here eating my cake crispies dipped in icing because why not, and Niku looks at me and says, "Are you ok? It's like you want to tell me something", and I just chuckled and said, "No, I just feel like the world is possible again." I got up and went for a run, then I did my normal route again, and a third time. Thinking of possibilities is like fuel. I'm out there running, mind running even faster, and I realized that today was an Everest high. More than that though, I realized that tomorrow the work begins, because there is a whole lot of valley between two peaks. The work though... that's what I signed up for.